it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Im part way to drunk.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
