I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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