I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize