I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It's just like the Real World with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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