That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
