this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
