Jerry, you need to find god
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize