nut hugger
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Holy sore nipples Batman
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
