we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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