watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
