I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
