ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
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