butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
