If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
