i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
