question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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