yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
