imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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