Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
