My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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