your parents love me but you hate me
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
