Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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