I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
