Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
