Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
