OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize