he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
