Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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