i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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