I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
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