The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
