When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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