Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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