Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
