Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
