you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
