ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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