He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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