I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
