So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
