It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize