I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
