"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
