READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
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Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
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although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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