you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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