The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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