If i come over, it means nothing
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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