We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
