.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
