batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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