you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Randomize
