His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
