when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize