break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
