I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
