He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
