Dual....:-)
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
