she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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