Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
