I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
